


Step Into The Sun

by KawaiiKozume



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Disabled Character, F/F, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Physical Disability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiKozume/pseuds/KawaiiKozume
Summary: Elsa is going to back to school. A classmate says she is also new. Are they going to find solace in each other?
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	Step Into The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> This was done as a gift and I loved it so much I wanted to share it.
> 
> The concept and plot are from the customer and they are not mine.

The heat from the sun fell over the back of Elsa’s neck as she stood on the pool deck. Her long white hair was wrapped in a tight bun to try and keep it from tangling in the water. She looked at the water, a little apprehensive of the ripples in it.

“C’mon Elsa! Just go!”

Elsa took a breath, closed her eyes, and launched into the pool bracing for impact. When she didn’t hit the water she opened her eyes and saw inky darkness around her.

“Hello?” She called out. She went to move her arms to swim forward but they wouldn’t move. She kept trying in vain but her arms wouldn’t come up and her legs wouldn’t pump behind her.

“Is anyone there? Help! I need help! I’m drowning!” Elsa screamed out, tears rolling down her face. “I’m alone.”

***

“Elsa, darling, wake up. Elsa!”

Elsa’s eyes flew open and she saw godfather, Mattias, bent over her.

“Hey, flurry. You okay?” He rested his hand on her forehead to feel her temperature. He was a kind man. Dark eyes surrounded by laugh lines and short, dark hair. He wasn't actually related to Elsa or her sister but he was their guardian and he loved the girls very much.

“Yes, I’m fine. It was just a nightmare.” Elsa took a shuddering breath. “It’s the first day, right?”

“Yes, do you want to eat in bed or get ready and go to the kitchen?” Mattias rose and rolled the silver wheelchair to the side of Elsa’s bed. Elsa took a second to consider the question.

“I’d like to eat in the kitchen.”

“Okay, what are we wearing today?” Mattias opened her closet and she picked out the long sleeved, pale blue shirt with jewels around the collar and a pair of jeans. He set about dressing her and then lifted her to her chair. They moved on to the bathroom where he helped brush her teeth and brushed her hair for her.

“Do you want it braided?” He asked, running a brush through the white strands.

“Yes, please. It’s easier to manage.” Elsa sat, watching Mattias’ hands work. She felt the solid weight on her chest, just behind her ribcage and she ignored it as she always did.

“Okay, breakfast? Your sister should be there now.”

“Sounds great.” Elsa gave him a small smile. “Thank you, Mattias.”

“Of course, my dear.” He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and left the room. Elsa took the straw and gave a soft puff, turning the chair to the left with each puff. When she was aligned with the doorway, she exhaled into the straw and the chair lurched forward. She continued to maneuver to the kitchen and pulled up next to her sister at the table.

“Morning Elsa!” Anna chirped. She was as excited as ever, shovelling eggs into her mouth. She was dressed in a short sleeved, pink shirt and cropped capri jeans. Her army green jacket lay draped over the chair next to her.

“Are you ready for today? I’m so excited! But I’m also really nervous. What if people are mean?! Oh, boy, do you think there’s lockers at this school? And what about the staircases? What if I fall down?” Anna babbled.

“Anna, it’ll be okay. It’s not that bad. Plus, if you fall down the stairs, there’s likely to be someone in front of you.” Elsa reassured her. Mattias had set down a plate of food in front of Elsa and then left to change.

“Want me to…” Anna trailed off, gesturing to Elsa’s plate.

“Please.”

Anna began feeding Elsa and continued babbling about the day ahead and how she was excited for her theatre class. Elsa went through the motions of chewing and swallowing, starting to get lost in her own thoughts. What if someone tries to push her? Or what if the elevator breaks down? What if her resource person isn’t there? What if someone says something about her paralysis?

What if she’s teased? Treated differently?

“Elsa?” Anna’s voice was quiet. A far cry from her exuberance earlier.

“What’s wrong, Anna?” Elsa looked at her with concern.

“I wish mom and dad were here for this.”

Elsa’s heart clenched. She often forgot how young Anna was when their parents died in that car crash.

“Yeah, me too.” Elsa tilted her head towards Anna’s and tried to push calm thoughts to her little sister. “But we’ll be okay. We always have been. And if things get rough, we’ll have each other.”

Anna took Elsa’s hand and took a breath. “You’re right. We’ll be okay.”

Elsa had finished eating and Anna dumped the plates in the sink when Mattias came back into the kitchen dressed for work.

“Ready?” He asked. Anna handed Elsa her backpack and opened the front door.

“Ready.” Both girls said. Anna pushed Elsa’s chair through the door and down the ramp to the van. Mattias started the van and then transferred Elsa to the passenger seat. He buckled her in while Anna put the chair in the back of the van. Once everyone was in and buckled, they drove off to the school where they reversed the process. Before leaving, Mattias gave both girls a hug.

“Have a good day! I’ll see you after school.”

“Mattias!” Elsa called. “Thank you.”

***

Anna had dropped Elsa off in the office before she continued on, looking for her first class. Elsa waited for a small while watching people come in and out of the building. Finally, a young man approached her.

“Good morning, Elsa!” He asked. He looked kind but tired, as if he’d been awake all night. His brown hair lay flat on his head and he held a file in his arms.

“Good morning, Mr. Kai.”

“Are you ready for today?” He asked. She shrugged. “Okay, well, let’s get you to the first building. I’ll be with you throughout the day, so just holler if you need anything. And as always, do tell me to back off if you’d like.”

Elsa navigated her way behind Mr. Kai. As they went to the building, Elsa glanced around the campus taking in all the students milling around and laughing. The physical place hadn’t changed since she was there, but the ambiance felt different. She briefly wondered if that was just her though and not the actual school. Her first two periods were as she expected, full of questioning looks but she focused on her teachers and told Mr. Kai what she wanted notes on. Her teachers were really nice but each time they talked with her, she saw the pity and it made her want to scream ‘There’s nothing wrong with me!’. Her third period was a smaller class, mostly composed of disabled students. She rolled through the door and settled in the back to wait for class to start.

“Good morning, guys!” Her teacher was a tall, thin woman with thick plastic glasses. “Today, we’re going to go over the rules and then I’d like you to work in partners on a worksheet so you meet at least one classmate.”

As the teacher went on about rules and how the classroom functioned, Elsa scanned the room trying to figure out who she’d want to talk to. Her classmates here were far different than her first and second period, but that didn’t mean she wanted to talk to them necessarily.

“Okay, I’ll pass out the worksheets while you guys pair up!”

Elsa paused in her thoughts.

“Would you like to move somewhere?” Mr. Kai asked her from behind.

“No, I’ll stay here.” Elsa heard him sit back down behind her. She watched people begin to pair up and start awkward, stilted conversations. She was about to resign herself to not having a partner when a girl walked up to her.

“Do you want to be partners?” She asked with a small smile. Her hair was braided down her back and her bangs fell straight across her face, leaving an open view of her dark amber eyes. She wore a khaki jacket that stopped three quarters the way down her tawny arms.

“Oh, sure, that’d be good.” Elsa said. The girl pulled the empty desk from next to Elsa around to face her.

“I can write for you, if that’s okay?” She asked. Elsa nodded her head.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah of course.” The girl paused, debating on what she was going to say next and then, “Can I ask?”

Elsa sucked in a sharp breath.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

“Okay,” The girl accepted the answer easily and moved on, “I’m Honeymaren, from the Northuldra tribe. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Elsa, and likewise.” The two girls began asking and answering superficial questions about each other. Elsa learned that Honeymaren has a brother in the same class (his name was Ryder), that this was her first time at a normal high school and that she had a dry sense of humor.

In return, Honeymaren learned that Elsa had a little sister, was a little guarded and quiet and that Elsa was secretly really quick witted and able to keep up with her sarcastic remarks. When Elsa got home that day, she was pleasantly surprised to realize that she had a good day overall.

Over the next couple weeks, Elsa found herself increasingly excited for her third period. Honeymaren had become a constant in that class, whether it was sitting next to Elsa or making faces at her each time the teacher said some random anecdote. Currently, the two girls were working on a worksheet about document based questions.

“Evaluate the relative importance of the causes of cultural change in the United States in the period from 1914-1945.” Honeymaren read the question aloud and then moved to hold up the images in front of Elsa’s face so she could analyze it.

“Is it frustrating?” Honeymaren said. Elsa froze.

“Is what frustrating?” She steeled her eyes to make sure Honeymaren knew this was dangerous territory.

“Your paralysis.” Honeymaren met Elsa’s eyes and Elsa realized that there was no malicious intent behind the question. Honeymaren was just genuinely curious.

“I don’t like questions about it.” Elsa replied. Honeymaren looked away ashamed. “But, yes. It is extraordinarily frustrating.”

"Oh." Honeymaren took in the information then continued on about their assignment. "So, I'd reckon the cultural shift is what caused the US to continue to have underlying oppressive forces to this day. I'm using exhibit A to back that up…"

Elsa tilted her head but watched Honeymaren continue to explain how a black and white photo of a still shot from a movie provides evidence for neo-nazi ideaology to spread into current US culture. There was something behind her eyes that drew Elsa in and Elsa didn't realize she was staring until Honeymaren quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Honeymaren asked, amusement lying underneath the heat in her eyes.

"Yes, based on the background of the still shot, you can suss out that anti-semitic ideaologies were prominent in US culture even though the US eventually joined the Allied powers." Elsa parrotted. Honeymaren openly smiled at her and Elsa felt something warm wiggle in her chest. Elsa looked away at another pair as Honeymaren finished writing their answer. She moved to get up but Elsa stopped her.

"I can take it up. Just set it on my lap." She'd been trying this around the house. She wanted to be able to carry things again.

"Are you sure? It's no big deal." Honeymaren tried to argue but upon seeing the determination in Elsa's eyes, she just set the paper in her lap as asked. Elsa nodded and then set about navigating the room, moving around chairs and people on the way to her teacher's desk.

"Honeymaren and I have finished. Here is our work." Elsa said nodding down to the paper. The teacher lifted it lightly and put it in front of her.

"Thank you, Elsa. And I'm glad to see you engaged."

Elsa's face heated up as she turned around and rolled back up to her desk where Honeymaren was watching her, eyes sparkling.

"You probably don't wanna hear it, but that was pretty cool of you."

Elsa frowned. She didn't need to hear that she adapted well, but on the other hand, the compliment made the warm, wiggly feeling come back into her chest.

"Thanks." She muttered before tilting her head to review the notes that Mr. Kai took for her.

***

“So, what do you do? Like, outside of school?” Honeymaren had announced at the end of the period she would walk with Elsa to her next class. Elsa wasn’t sure if Honeymaren was even going the same direction, but she didn’t dare ask. The conversation was nice though and distracted from Mr. Kai pushing her down the hallway.

“I’m paralyzed, Honeymaren.” Elsa deadpanned. “There’s nothing for me to do.”

“Have you thought about doing sports? There are some paraplegic leagues, maybe there’s a hidden athletic bone in there.” Elsa glanced up at her companion and trailed the dark braid with her eyes.

“Stubborn.” She muttered. Honeymaren’s mouth twitched, as if she were trying to avoid smiling.

“My paralysis is from the shoulders down. I can shrug, hold my head up and speak. Sports are out of the question for me.” Elsa paused, debating whether to speak the thought that had fluttered into her conscience. “I paint though. It’s mostly abstract images.”

Honeymaren lit up and turned a bright smile onto Elsa.

“That’s awesome! Can I see them sometime?” She asked. Elsa regarded her, still unsure what to make of her new friend.

“They’re on large canvases, I can’t exactly bring them to school.”

“So then I’ll come over and see them.” Something about the way Honeymaren said it made Elsa pause. It was extremely optimistic.

“Yeah, sure. Someday.” Elsa avoided scoffing and rolled into her classroom, leaving Honeymaren to wave through the open door behind her.

***

The air was getting colder when Honeymaren first accompanied Elsa to the parent pick-up line.

"But then Ryder actually slept with the elk! Yelana found him shaking on the porch in the morning." Honeymaren walked beside Elsa and paused when Elsa let out a light, airy laugh at her story. She stood there, her head slightly tilted and smiled at Elsa. When Elsa caught this, she schooled her expression and continued on to find Anna standing about. When Elsa settled next to Anna, Honeymaren bade her goodbye and walked off. Elsa watched her go with a small smile.

“She seems niiiice.” Anna’s tone was light and teasing. Elsa fought an eyeroll as Anna leaned over her. “Is she anyone speeeecial?”

“Please, Anna. She’s just a classmate.” Elsa pointedly ignored the leering grin on her sister’s face.

“Oooookay,” Anna sang, “you just - look at her a little differently.”

“I do not. I look at her like I look at my other classmates. I look at Ryder the same.”

“No, you don’t. I’ve seen you look at Ryder then at Honeymaren. You get all heart eyes over her.” Anna wrapped her hands together and mimed a swoon. Now Elsa did roll her eyes.

“Hardly, Anna. Maybe you’re projecting onto me because of your incurable crush on Kristoff, hm?” Elsa let a sly smile loose.

“Okay, this conversation is officially over.”

“I thought so.” Elsa glanced at her pouting sister and then looked away, smiling to herself.

***

“Hey, Honeymaren?” Elsa ventured. She and the girl in question were working on research for a history project.

“Hm?” Came Honeymaren’s response. Elsa deeply admired how dedicated Honeymaren got when working on assignments. She almost becomes a different person. Her demeanor goes from relaxed and open to more rigid and guarded. As if she were keeping the secrets of the internet biographies. And she got an adorable brow furrow when she found something extremely interesting.

“What do you think about perhaps coming over to study for the upcoming exam?” Elsa’s voice was steady, but she felt her heart thumping against her ribcage and briefly wondered why. If Honeymaren said no, then there was no harm done. Except, Elsa found the idea of her saying no very unattractive which caused her to give a small pout. By the time she’d processed this all, Honeymaren was looking straight at her with wide, amber eyes.

“For real? Like, seriously?” She asked. Elsa shrugged. She wished she could cross her arms like she used to when she was in uncomfortable territory.

“Why not? It would allow us time to study and,” Elsa paused, considering her next few words, “you could see my art. If you still wanted to.”

Honeymaren lit up and slammed her textbook shut. “Of course I still want to see them!” She cried. “Oh that’d be awesome! When?”

Elsa fidgeted under the excitement. “How about this Saturday? Mattias will be home then.”

Honeymaren nodded vigorously, still smiling wide and staring at Elsa. Elsa’s eyes bounced around, trying to settle anywhere but on the girl in front of her.

“Okay, can we maybe get back to our project?” Elsa stuttered out, finding it very hard to remain cool.

“Oh, yeah of course.” Honeymaren shook her head and re-opened the book in front of her.

***

On the following Saturday, Elsa was sitting in the living room, her laptop already hooked up to the television with Mattias’ help. Said man was setting down a plate of snacks when there was a knock on the door.

“I got it!” Anna chirped before racing to the door. Elsa heard the door open and then heard Anna and Honeymaren exchange pleasantries before coming into the living room. Elsa went to greet Honeymaren.

“Good afternoon.” Elsa nodded towards her.

“Hello, your house is nice.” She responded. Anna was starting to walk down the hall but gave her sister a thumbs up before disappearing into her room. By the time Elsa had turned around, Mattias was also gone from the room.

“So, do you wanna see the art and then study? Or study, then art?” Elsa asked. Honeymaren turned to her, eyes alight with something.

“Art first.” She said. Elsa huffed a laugh out then went past Honeymaren, leading her to her room.

“This is mine. Please come in and make yourself comfortable.” Elsa watched Honeymaren drop her backpack on Elsa’s bed then drift towards the largest piece. It was on a 24”x24” canvas full of pastel lines and black splatters. Honeymaren reached out as if to touch it then let her hand hover just above it.

“You painted this?!” She asked, wonder coloring her voice.

“Well, yes. It was fairly simple.” Elsa tried hard to not let the words make her blush, but she felt the heat rising in her cheeks. Honeymaren moved on to another painting, much smaller this time, black and white with a bunch of x’s patterned on it.

“These are amazing, Elsa.” She turned around, large, amber eyes meeting bright blue ones and for some reason, the conversation Elsa had with Anna at the pick-up line flashed in her head.

“Is she anyone speeeciaal?”

It hit Elsa all at once. Her growing admiration, the reason she took note of Honeymaren’s different expressions, her blushing at the compliments the other girl gave her...it all pointed to one simple fact: Elsa was in love with Honeymaren.

“Hey, are you okay? It’s okay if you want me to stop looking at these.” Honeymaren was concerned about her. Honeymaren who was so bright and enthusiastic and witty and open. Oh, Elsa was in deep. She gave a tiny shake of her head.

“Oh, yes. Um, I’m okay. Perhaps we should start studying. That way we’ve got something to show for our time together.” Elsa forced a small smile.

“Oh yeah, sure!” Honeymaren walked back out to the sitting room while Elsa closed her eyes and took a calming breath. This is fine. This is territory she was familiar with. She made her way down the hall and parked next to the couch. Honeymaren, who was originally sitting on the other end, launched up to sit right next to Elsa.

"Wanna just take turns asking questions to answer?" She asked, pulling her textbook out of her backpack. Her hand brushed against Elsa’s leg and even though Elsa couldn’t feel it she felt her face warm up.

“That would work, yes.” And that’s how the afternoon continued. Honeymaren would get close or brush against Elsa and in return Elsa would push down the pleasant feeling then the following rush of unease.

***

Anna is braiding Elsa’s hair when Elsa decides she was ready to talk to Anna about Honeymaren.

“Hey, Anna?”

“Hmm?” Anna wrapped a piece of hair around her finger. Elsa paused, forming the words in her mouth.

“How did you know you liked Kristoff?” It almost sounds like an admission of a secret when Elsa asked.

“Oh,” Anna’s voice was soft, “Well, it was like...I felt like the sun was in my chest when he looked at me. Everything was just, intense and warm and safe.”

Elsa frowned. Anna’s words described what she felt around Honeymaren too closely. She took a breath to steel her nerves before speaking again.

“Anna, I think I have a crush on Honeymaren.” The words tumbled out and Elsa held her breath. She didn’t even think about her and Honeymaren both being girls until that admission and she realized that once again, she stepped too soon. Too early. Too clumsily.

“Oh, I know.” That shook Elsa out of her spiral.

“Turn me around.”

“But your braid-”

“Turn. Me. Around.” Anna does as asked, sadly watching the braid slip apart as Elsa shakes her head.

“You know?” Anna’s gaze moved from Elsa’s hair to her eyes and her expression softened. She gave Elsa a soft smile.

“Of course I do. Elsa, she’s amazing and you’re different when you’re around her. You laugh more, you’re more open to things.” Anna tucked the piece of hair falling into Elsa’s eyes behind her sister’s ear. Elsa went quiet to think and Anna didn’t want to leave her sister alone with the thoughts so she turned Elsa to face the bed before she sat down on the top blanket.

Elsa for her part, was turning all the new information over in her mind. Anna didn’t mind that she liked Honeymaren. No, in fact, Anna was happy about it. Anna still supported her.

“So, what do I do?” Elsa asked eventually.

“Ask her on a date.” Anna said, as if it were that simple.

“But, why?”

“Because when people like each other, they go on dates?” Anna tilted her head and gave Elsa a funny look. Elsa rolled her eyes.

“You’re assuming she likes me back. I don’t even know if she likes girls. Not to mention…” Elsa trailed off, pointedly not looking down. Anna’s face pinched in confusion then all at once, her eyes grew and she let out a silent ‘oh’. She got off the bed and knelt down in front of Elsa, taking her sister’s hands in her own.

“"Elsa, she continued to push to get to know you. Not many people can get behind your walls, trust me, I know. But her trying so hard to be your friend and continue to talk and walk with you, that means you matter to her. You don't have to live in fear that your paralysis is something ugly. Because it's not. It's just a part of who you are as a whole person, and your whole-ness is very beautiful.” Anna’s eyes were open and clear. She really meant every word she said and while Elsa didn’t expect her to lie, every word sunk in and Elsa hiccuped a cry.

Elsa, for everything that she’d been through, didn’t even stop to think about how it had affected her. She knew how she’d changed physically. But in replaying Anna’s words, she realized how closed off she’d become. Heck, just having Anna in her room, braiding her hair was a new phenomenon as of a month ago. Elsa sobbed harder as Anna stood up and cradled her head close.

“Thank you, Anna.” Elsa said once she had calmed down a little bit. She was now sniffling and Anna moved to get tissues and wipe Elsa’s face.

“I’ll always be here to remind you of that. Promise.” Anna smiled and sat back down on the bed.

“I know.”

“Sooooo,” Anna started, “Are you gonna ask her?”

“I don’t- I think I need to think about it first.”

“Okay. Take your time, sis. I’ll be here for you no matter what.” Anna rested a hand on Elsa’s shoulder. “Can I finish your braid now?”

“Yes.”

***

"Good morning, Elsa!" Honeymaren slid into a chair across from Elsa. She was grinning and leaning toward Elsa. "Do you wanna meet up tonight and study? I saw a flashcard set for this unit and thought it'd be fun to use it."

"Oh, um," Elsa started wracking her brain for an excuse, "I can't tonight. I've got a, uh, family thing." She felt a little bad for lying but she can't consider being alone with Honeymaren right now.

"Oh yeah! Okay, no worries. Have fun with it!" And with that she turned around to focus through class.

***

The teacher just released the class for partner work and Elsa realized she was going to need a partner.

"Hey, Elsa! Wanna partner up for this?" Honeymaren caught her before she could move.

"Hey, uh, actually, I told Ryder I'd partner with him this time." Elsa watched Honeymaren's face fall and she looked away.

"Oh, okay." She moved on and Elsa rolled over to Ryder.

"Partners?" She offered quietly. Ryder jumped right into the work and Elsa did her best to help but she couldn't help but get distracted by Honeymaren. She would laugh and Elsa's mind would catch it, distracting her for a few minutes. After the fourth time, Elsa shook her head and tried harder to focus on Ryder.

***

"Hey! Can I walk you to the pickup?" Elsa just passed the threshold of her last class and almost made it through the day without talking to Honeymaren.

"Oh, no it's okay. My sister's gonna come pick me up." Elsa took the straw in her mouth and went to puff but Honeymaren put a hand on her shoulder.

"Did I-" She paused, debating her words, "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?" Elsa asked. She looked up into Honeymaren's amber eyes, which was a mistake because now she saw the sparkling of tears starting to build up.

"Did I do something to offend you? Hurt you?"

"No, why would you…" Elsa asked, even though she already knew the answer. She felt terrible about it.

"You've been distant lately. Like, really distant."

"Oh, no, I just-"

"Do you-" Honeymaren took a breath, "Do you just not want to be friends anymore? Is that it?"

Elsa stares at her, eyes wide, unsure of what to say. She's not ready to explain herself but she doesn't want to lose Honeymaren either. It seems that window passed though because a tear ran its way down her cheek and she spoke.

"Okay. Fine." And with that Elsa watched Honeymaren walk away from the parent pickup. Away from Elsa.

***

After that day, it was easy for Elsa to avoid Honeymaren. Or, moreso for Honeymaren to avoid Elsa. She didn't approach Elsa anymore. She didn't ask to study or walk together. All in all, it was as if they had never known each other. Others noticed but nobody dared mention it directly. Kristoff was close to it but Anna elbowed him before he got the chance. It was eventually Anna who asked about it. She waltzed into Elsa's room and plopped onto her bed. Elsa was bobbing her head against a canvas.

"Sooo, why hasn't Honeymaren come around in a while?"

Elsa turned around with a paintbrush in her mouth and a cup in her lap. She ducked her head and dropped the brush in the cup.

"Don't worry about it, Anna." She shook her hair back and turned back to the canvas.

"But-"

"Anna, stop." Elsa's voice was commanding and Anna fell silent.

"I think it'd be best if you leave me now."

Anna's eyes widened. "Whoa, wait. Don't do this again."

"Anna-"

"No!" Anna launched up. "This is how it is everytime you spiral. Something happens to remind you that you're different, you spiral, you isolate yourself and I lose you." Anna's voice cracked. "I lose my sister."

"Anna," Elsa tried again.

"No! I don't want you to hurt alone! You don't have to shut me out!" Anna yelled. Silence spread into every corner of the room.

"What happened?" Anna asked, softer than when she came in. Elsa's cool exterior cracks and everything came flooding out.

"Oh, Anna!" Through her tears she started explaining everything. "I ran. I let her go because I was afraid of my own emotions. I was afraid of her reaction and her rejection. And now I've lost her for good. And I feel terrible because I know I did it myself but the only thing I have control over is my brain and face! And it's frustrating!"

"It's okay, Elsa. C'mon, what would help? Wanna have a girls night? I can paint your nails and we can do a sister painting." Anna ran a hand through Elsa's hair as Elsa nods.

"We can use one of my 20 by 20s." Elsa mumbles. And so they do. They started with Anna painting Elsa’s nails a soft blue color and designing a snowflake on the ring fingers. Then, under Elsa’s direction, Anna pulled out the extra large canvas and got out new brushes, dropping them in the tray by Elsa. Anna worked on the left side while Elsa worked on the right. Elsa would pull back and glance over at Anna’s work, seeing the snowman, sun and pine trees she painted. Elsa, on her half, was working on a replica of the Northern Lights above a body of water. It was a comfortable silence between the two for a while.

“Hey, Elsa.” Anna murmurs, not ready to break the safe air they’ve set up. Elsa hums in response.

“You know, she’d accept an apology. I just know it.” Elsa didn’t say anything and they continued to work in a peaceful quiet until dinner.

***

It was a mild March day when Elsa rolled up to Honeymaren’s desk at the end of History. She was as beautiful as ever. She had an orange flower pin in her hair holding back her bangs. She seemed surprised to see Elsa next to her.

“Oh, hi.” She brought a hand up to put her bangs back but stopped when she remembered they were already back. She blushed slightly as her hand dropped to her lap.

“Hi, um, could we talk?” Elsa asked. She prayed her eyes conveyed the hope she had.

“Oh, uh, sure I guess.” Honeymaren said. She followed Elsa into the hall and leaned against the wall as Elsa mentally prepared herself for what she was going to do.

“Okay.” Elsa took a breath and started. “Honeymaren, I am so sorry for distancing and cutting myself off. I was in a bad place and began isolating myself. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just wanted to apologize.”

“Elsa, I accept your apology. I didn’t know you were struggling and I thought I did something.” Honeymaren exhaled. She seemed to relax back to her normal self.

“You could never have done something, Honeymaren. You’re kind and sweet and funny and perfect.” Elsa felt her cheeks heat up but noticed Honeymaren’s grew a little dark and felt a little more bold.

“Hey, Honeymaren?” Elsa smiled softly at the other girl. “Would you be interested in going on a date? With me? Saturday?”

Honeymaren’s eyes grow wide and for a moment, Elsa is terrified already preparing more apologies but then Honeymaren grinned. A wide, bright-as-the-sun grin and Elsa found herself returning it.

“I thought you’d never ask! Yes, of course.”

“Wonderful!”

“Did you have something in mind?”

“I was wondering how you’d feel about a walk in the park? Around sunset.” Elsa had thought it over and decided this would be the least difficult option. She could use her straw while Honeymaren talked and they could take a break when Elsa talked.

“That sounds perfect.” Honeymaren tilted her head. “Do you eat fish?”

“Are you thinking of the sushi truck?”

“Yeah!” The two fall into laughing.

“Sounds great!” Elsa said.

“So I’ll see you Saturday.” Honeymaren said then realized they still had a school day before then. “Er, I mean I’ll see you tomorrow but also...on Saturday.”

Elsa laughed in good nature. “Yes to both.”

***

On the day of the date, Anna helped Elsa get ready and gushed the whole time about how happy she was for her sister.

“Do you think she’ll wear a dress? She’d look amazing in a red sundress!” Anna said as she pinned Elsa’s hair back with a pale blue bow. She’d helped Elsa into a cream skirt and blue button up and put a layer of light pink eye shadow on her sister’s eyelids. When Anna pulled back from her work, she held up a mirror for Elsa to see and Elsa felt she looked amazing.

“I don’t know if she’ll be in a sundress. She’s going to look amazing no matter what though.” Elsa had left the room ahead of Anna. Mathias was going to be driving Elsa to the park and drop her off. He’d then be nearby should she want to leave early.

“Evening, Elsa. Are you ready?” Mathias was standing in the kitchen, holding his phone from which he was checking his work email.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She took a breath, steeling herself against the nerves slowly forming in her stomach.

“Alright, let’s get to it then.” Mathias smiled at Elsa. “You look lovely. She’s not gonna know what hit her.”

Elsa looked down and smiled. “Thank you.” She tried to put into those two words everything she meant and going by the look in Mathias’ eyes, he understood.

“Oooh!” Anna squealed, “Good luck! Have a great time and I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

With that, Elsa left on her first date. The ride to the park was nice. Elsa continued to focus on taking measured breaths to curb her anxiety and the radio was on a nice, low hum. Elsa asked to arrive a little earlier so she could be set when Honeymaren arrived. The sun was just above the horizon when Honeymaren walked up to her.

“Uh, hey.” Elsa turned around and felt her stomach flip. She was gorgeous. Her hair was in a loose braid down her back and the green jacket she wore brought out the gold in her eyes. She smiled at Elsa and years down the road, Elsa would swear the world stopped. Everything zeroed in on the girl in front of her.

“You’re gorgeous.” It slipped out before Elsa could think properly again. Honeymaren looked shocked for a moment then let out a chuckle that turned into a proper laugh. Elsa blushed as Honeymaren’s laughter died out.

“Thank you. You also look amazing. I like the skirt.”

“Thank you.” Elsa replied, unsure where to go from here. Honeymaren seemed to have a loose plan, however.

“Do you wanna get food now? Then we can walk around.”

“Sounds lovely.” They started heading towards the sushi truck and the silence started feeling awkward around them.

“So, I know what you’re like at school and stuff, but what do you do outside school?” Elsa asked after setting her pace. The sidewalk they were on was a straight shoot to the truck so Elsa didn’t need to worry about navigating too much.

“Well, there’s not a lot to do on the reservation but I like working with the elders. Learning our healing rituals and cultural things.” Honeymaren spoke softly. “I like our version of kickball too.”

“That sounds awesome.” Elsa said as they arrived at the truck.

“How about we sit on that bench? You claim it while I grab the food. Any preferences?” Honeymaren asked. The bench in question was a walnut colored, wooden bench facing north so the sunset was illuminating the side. It sat between two large oak trees whose leaves cast it in shade in the middle of the day but now, acted as a filter of the orange light.

“Can you grab some salmon?” Elsa asked. Honeymaren smiled wide at her.

“Salmon’s only the best.” Elsa chuckled and went to sit next to the bench. A couple minutes later, Honeymaren walked up holding a long, red, rectangular box and sat down next to Elsa. A brief moment of panic bloomed in Elsa’s chest when she realized she’d have to ask Honeymaren to feed her.

“Would you like the first bite?” Honeymaren asked, already holding up one of the rolled pieces. She held it carefully in the chopsticks with a hand underneath to catch it if it fell. Elsa’s eyes widened and she realized that Honeymaren must’ve thought their evening through to make it as easy as possible. Just like that, the knot in her chest released with her next exhale.

“Thank you.” Elsa opened her mouth and Honeymaren guided the piece in. Elsa bit down and Honeymaren withdrew the chopsticks with a smile. Elsa blushed under her gaze. They sat there, sharing the box of sushi and enjoying the soft fall breeze that swept through the trees. In the distance, children laughed and dogs barked. All in all, it was extremely peaceful and Elsa didn’t want it to end.

“I really like you, Elsa.” Honeymaren said after closing the box and setting it aside. “When I saw you that day, I knew I wanted to talk to you. It was my first day in a normal school and for you to be kind enough to allow me to work with you…It made my week.”

“I’m really glad you came up to me that day. I wasn’t sure I was going to make friends.” Elsa said, turning to stare at the ground. “I’m not really good at making friends and usually, people don’t want to befriend me because I can’t always do what they can. It doesn’t bother me much because it’s just how life is. But, Honeymaren, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me since my accident. Just being with you makes me feel more...me.”

Elsa took a breath.

“My accident happened in freshman year. I was invited to a swim party and when I went to jump in, I didn’t realize how shallow it was and I hit my head. The strike broke my neck and I was told I’d be paralyzed for my life.” She hasn’t talked about this before. “It was terrible. I slipped into such a deep depression...I pushed away my sister and isolated myself, kinda like what I did to you, except worse.”

“Elsa, you don’t have to tell me.” Honeymaren spoke softly. The wind died down, leaving the pink sky to cast a glow behind Honeymaren and Elsa felt like explaining to her was another step in her own empowerment.

“I learned over that time though that I couldn’t change my circumstances, but I could try and reclaim what independence I could. After that, I started researching organizations to support and how. I started talking in online forums and with each little victory, I felt myself coming back to life in a way. But the last 7 months with you allowed me to take even greater strides in my confidence.”

As Elsa spoke, Honeymaren stared at her and Elsa wasn’t sure what she was thinking.

“So when I say I really appreciate you and I really like you, I mean it from my soul.” Elsa looked away, waiting for Honeymaren to speak again.

“My parents aren’t around.” Elsa snapped her head to look at her date.

“They come and go, I see them sometimes, but not like how it should be.” Honeymaren took a breath. “That’s why Elder Yelana took Ryder and I in. We grew up with her from around age 10. When I asked her where our real parents were, she was honest. It broke me. I think I was still too young to process it correctly. I spent a lot of time being angry. At myself, at Ryder, at Elder Yelana, and at the world as a whole.” Honeymaren took another shaky breath. “I remember one day, the day I told Ryder about our parents, I had decided that I wasn’t worth much if my own parents didn’t want me. I can’t say that pain has entirely scabbed over at this point, but I can say that it’s not as bad as it was. I mean, after all, Elder Yelana put me in the public school, and I met you. So not everything that’s happened is terrible. Looking at the hurricane inside from an outside point of view only makes it easier to find calm spots. Holding yourself back when you were having a really bad time doesn’t help anybody involved in your life, and believe me, I started learning that four years ago. I’m still learning it.”

The two girls sit in silence for a few moments, both letting the conversation roll around in their minds and where to go from there.

“Well, enough tragic backstories.” Honeymaren jokes. “Do you wanna walk around now?”

Elsa nods but has a hesitation.

“May I push you?” Honeymaren asked.

“Thank you for asking. Yes, I think that would be best.” Elsa breathes, nerves settling once again. They start walking around the pond and talk about a multitude of different topics. Honeymaren makes jokes about each one and Elsa provides deep analyses of their books from school. Eventually, though, as all good things must come to an end, the sun set on the park and Elsa knew Mattias was waiting in the parking lot.

"Yelana is here for me." Honeymaren said from behind Elsa.

"Yeah, I know that Mattias is waiting for me." Elsa responded. The two headed back towards the parking lot and a thought struck Elsa. What if she tries to kiss me?

They arrived at the parking lot and Honeymaren came around front so Elsa could see her.

"I had a really great time today." She says. Elsa smiles at her.

"I did too. It was really nice to talk to you and watch the sun set." Elsa's eyes darted away from Honeymaren and she hoped her nervousness didn't show in her eyes. Honeymaren must've already had the same thought already though because she kept her smile and spoke calmly.

"Elsa, I know it would be expected to share a kiss before we parted, but I don't want you to feel obligated to. It's quite alright if we just part with a goodbye."

A deep breath of relief flooded Elsa's chest and she felt calmness fill her.

"Thank you, Honeymaren. I will see you on Monday then?" She asks.

"Of course. Have a wonderful night." Honeymaren squeezed one of Elsa's hands and walked off towards a car in the distance.

"That looked sweet." Mattias says walking up to meet Elsa.

"She is very sweet." Elsa replies and the two head to the van and as they drive home, Elsa thinks she hasn't had this much fun in many years.

***

The weeks passed and things seemed to be going wonderfully. Elsa couldn't remember the last time she truly felt at ease as often as she did. She finds herself now sitting with Honeymaren in her room as they ask each other study review questions back and forth.

"What was the reason Archduke Ferdinand was attacked?" Honeymaren asks.

"The annexation of Austria-Hungary had angered Serbian nationalists, who believed the territories should be part of Serbia." Elsa replies.

"Correct, good." Honeymaren runs a finger down the paper in her lap. "Okay, what are you doing this Friday?"

Elsa smiles at her girlfriend and chuckles.

"I have no plans but if my girlfriend has any I'd have to ask her."

"Hmm, I think your girlfriend would like to know if you would like to see a movie on Friday."

"A movie sounds wonderful, will you relay that message to her?" Elsa laughs and Honeymaren sits up from her spot and looks at Elsa with a level of fondness she hasn't seen before.

"Your girlfriend is very excited."

Elsa watches Honeymaren's lips move around the words and finds herself wondering what the other girl's lips would feel like against her own. Before Elsa could get wrapped up in her thoughts though, Honeymaren asks the next real question.

"What was the date when the Treaty of Versailles was signed?"

"Oh, um, June 28th, 1919 in the Palace of Versailles, France."

"Ooh!" Honeymaren squeals "You're gonna ace this exam!"

"Only because of my study partner, I'm sure." Elsa jokes. Honeymaren gave her a flat look.

"You're brilliant, you'd ace the exam with or without me." She states. Elsa feels warmth flood her chest and smiles. When she looks back up, Honeymaren is watching her with a soft smile.

"Elsa, if it is alright with you, I'd like to kiss you."

All of the breath left Elsa in a soft woosh and she felt her cheeks warm up. She wasn't expecting Honeymaren to be forward like this but she was excited at the idea. So she nods.

"I would like that."

Honeymaren oriented herself to sit in front of Elsa and started to lean in, letting her eyes drift shut. Elsa tilted her chin out and closed her eyes, waiting for the connection. But it never came.

"ELSA!" Anna burst through the door causing Honeymaren to startle and pull away. Elsa's cheeks were red as she shot a look at her sister.

"Mattias says dinner is almost ready." Anna grins at the two girls.

"Okay, Anna." Elsa says trying to calm her racing heartbeat. "Thank you for letting me know."

Anna leaves the room and shuts the door. Elsa glances over at Honeymaren who, upon making eye contact with the blond, bursts out into a fit of giggles. The awkward air is broken and Elsa joins in the laughter.

"May we try again?" Elsa asks, unsure if the mood is broken.

"Of course." Honeymaren is grinning as she leans back in. Elsa's eyes slip shut.

"Oh!" Anna throws the door open again. "And he asked if Honeymaren was staying for dinner?"

Honeymaren pulls back again and Elsa narrowly avoids a verbal display of unappreciation.

"Uh, yes, she'll stay." Elsa replies.

"Cool, I'll let him know." Anna shuts the door and Elsa waits for her sister's footsteps to recede. She looks at Honeymaren.

"Third time's a charm?" Honeymaren shrugs causing Elsa to laugh.

"Yeah." Honeymaren leans in one last time as Anna knocks on the door. How did Elsa not hear her?

"Hey, Elsa?" Her sister's voice is playful.

"Go away, Anna! I know what you're doing!" Elsa shouts and Anna's laughter can be heard walking away from Elsa's door. Honeymaren never pulled back. Elsa saw the opportunity and took it, pushing her head forward to connect their lips.

Honeymaren's lips were soft and the light air being exhaled from her blew over Elsa's upper lip. Honeymaren tilted her head and brought a hand up to cradle Elsa's cheek. Elsa's head is spinning on her shoulders and she feels Honeymaren's fingers, light on her cheek. They pull apart.

"Wow." Elsa breathes. Honeymaren huffs a laugh.

"Yeah."

Anna throws the door open again, this time speaking as she enters.

"Dinner's done!"

"ANNA!" Elsa groans as the moment shatters. Anna laughs hard but it's all okay because Honeymaren is looking at Elsa like she's the shiniest gem Honeymaren had ever seen.

***

The air is stagnant with heat but Elsa couldn't be happier. She and Anna are looking around at the multiple people who stood on the sides of a street. It didn't take much convincing for Mattias to take the girls to their city's Pride Festival. The girls were just as lucky because Mattias agreed to drive Honeymaren and Kristoff as well.

"This is really cool!" Anna squeals as a car drives by with a trailer full of drag queens singing and dancing and engaging the crowd. Elsa notices that Anna's face paint is starting to melt off. Pink, blue and purple lines slide down her face with sweat. Elsa has a feeling her own pink, white and orange heart has become a blob at this point.

"They're so pretty." Honeymaren says as the trailer rolls out of sight. The rest of the parade was fun to experience. A few times people came up to the viewers, handing out necklaces or water and snacks. Sometimes they just wanted to say hello before moving on. There were many LGBTQ+ clubs from around the city that entered to march in the parade. The amount of people got a little overwhelming at times but Elsa took everything in as best as she could.

After the parade, the festival grounds opened and Elsa and her crew wandered in. Before they start walking around, Mattias pauses them.

“Okay guys, I’m going to let you wander around on your own, but don’t leave the grounds, alright? I’ll be over by the main stage if you need me.”

“Sounds good! Thank you!!” Anna squeals. Mattias walks off and the four look at each other, waiting for any of the others to pick a place to start.

“Let’s go look at the art.” Honeymaren suggests, resting her hand on Elsa’s shoulder.

“That’d be lovely. I’m excited to see what they look like.” Elsa smiles at the idea. They make their way over to the art exhibition and Elsa launches into an explanation of why each piece is amazing or special. Eventually, Anna starts fidgeting more, catching Elsa’s attention.

“Are you good, Anna?” She asks. Anna nods but brings a hand up to curl around her upper arm. Kristoff puts an arm around her and pulls her close.

“I think I’m hungry.” She states.

“Oh thank gods, me too but I didn’t want to say anything.” Honeymaren laughs.

“So let’s go hit up the food trucks.” Kristoff says before turning Anna around and walking towards the row of trucks lined up. The air smelled of grease and fried food and something a little sweet.

“Is that…” Anna starts.

“Chocolate.” Elsa finishes. The sisters share a laugh.

“Do you two want to go grab a table by the dance floor? We can order and bring the food.” Kristoff offers to Honeymaren and Elsa. The two girls share a look and Honeymaren nods at Kristoff.

“Thank you.” He only nods in response and leads Anna to stand in a line for a burger truck. Honeymaren meanders next to Elsa as they make their way over to the area.

“You know, Elsa, if someone were to tell me a year ago that I’d be at a pride festival with my girlfriend, I would think they were playing a joke on me.” Honeymaren says as they find a table fairly close to the dance floor.

“I can agree with that. A year ago, I didn’t even know I liked girls.” Elsa responds. “But I’m so glad we found each other.”

Honeymaren smiles at her then leans in and kisses her cheek.

“Me too.” The two watch couples spin around the dance floor and about 20 minutes later, Kristoff and Anna find the two. Honeymaren had pulled her chair close to Elsa so she could hold her hand. They sit in the shade, eat and trade jokes. After the food is gone and the sun is starting to lean in the Eastern side of the sky, Anna starts fidgeting again.

“Do you wanna dance?” She asks Kristoff. The boy grins at her.

“With you? Always.” He replies. The two walk onto the dance floor and start doing really strange dance moves that make Elsa and Honeymaren laugh. Other people take notice and ask them to share their dance moves.

“Hey, Elsa?” Honeymaren asks. Elsa turns her head and meets amber eyes that are full of love.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” And all of the air in Elsa’s chest rushes out on the next exhale. Her heart speeds up and she knows in her bones that she feels home.

“I love you too, Honeymaren.”


End file.
